April 08th, 2024

​ELIZABETH ADEBAYO
I called her ‘Mummy Lizzy’. As wife to my junior brother, Femi[Soupie], I noticed that Mummy Lizzy never called me by my  name or even used the ‘Sister’ title used by  Christians and Africans alike to indicate seniority or respect. She had her own name coined for me which was, ‘Auntiiiiiiiiiii’ - in text messages,  phone calls and in person, I would hear the ring tone of her voice; it always brought a smile. It is a name that symbolised her love, fondness, friendship and a special bond between us that showed the uniqueness of how she valued me in the family. A special intimacy. I truly cherished it.
I first took an immediate liking to Mummy Lizzy the day she brought a delicacy I had never tasted in my life. Plantain wrapped in egg and then fried – like a ‘ pig in blanket’ kind of meal. On hearing my compliments, she brought it for me during each visit to our home then in Bodija, Ibadan. Her beauty, loveliness, charming personality, elegance, and easy to please nature drew her to the Adebayo family.  Soupie knew he had indeed found his better half from God. Even his NYSC posting to Sokoto couldn’t put them asunder and they eventually served together in Ogun State, Nigeria.
When I relocated to the UK, with my children without my husband, we lived with Mummy Lizzy and family. Her sterling qualities became even more apparent. We were absorbed with no feelings of awkwardness, inconvenience, partiality or disapproval. She became the senior sister I never had. She and her family made her home the nursery bed I needed before being transplanted to the UK world on my own. I was nourished, educated, groomed, pampered, pruned, and cultivated as you would read in the ensuing paragraphs. You will agree with me that there is no sister in law like her kind!
I came into her home with a full Nigerian mentality. I hadn’t found a job and so I busied myself. Without her permission, I rearranged her fridge several times when I was ‘tidying up’ the house. If I saw bread and snacks thrown in the bin, I would bring them out and restore in the fridge. I did not understand the ‘Best before’ dates. I did the same to toilet rolls, bathing soaps and toothpaste.  I picked them up from the thrash can and restored them because these were items that were used till completely depleted. Not once did she ever frown or complain. She and her husband let me be!
Whenever my husband phoned from Nigeria, she would rush with the phone to meet me upstairs where my children and I had taken over my niece’s room. She always gave me my privacy as I spoke with my husband for hours. She it was who would bring the phone and say, ‘phone your husband. He must be missing you!’  When I moved to my first home in Gravesend, my first rude shock was the telephone bill for the month that came to £400! I had lived a whole year in Mummy Lizzy’s home using the phone and never realised the cost incurred. She and her husband never complained!
While in Nigeria, I remember practising with my family how to speak ‘in tongues’ - the acceptable English language to be spoken in the UK. It did not go well. Mummy Lizzy was present when I was speaking to an employer and her amusement caused me to lose control. I ended the call and we both laughed till tears came out of our eyes. She followed me to interviews and helped ‘interpret’ questions when I was confused by the British accent then. By God’s grace, she was instrumental in my getting appointed as a supply teacher with Link Education and other agencies.
Mummy Lizzy sacrificed time, devotion and attention in settling the children in schools, considering they came to the UK in August.  She helped place Sharon and Philomina in school. When I told her I had found a school for Augustus, she insisted it had to be a grammar school, despite my mentioning the exotic facilities which had so impressed me.  Mummy Lizzy still went ahead and eventually by God’s grace, Augustus was placed in Wilmington Grammar school and Stephen in St Columbus. I remember those train trips she accompanied us for university options for Augustus.
When my children and I were given a home in Gravesend a year later, we were so touched and flabbergasted. It was a furnished home!!  Even as I write, I do not know who or how it was funded. When I asked Mummy Lizzy, she said, ‘Auntiiiiii’. She never went further than that. For the first one month, she and her husband came to ensure we knew how gas, electricity and electronics worked.  She sorted out the kitchen and dining room. The beautiful wooden stand for knives and the tall eye catching triangular wooden décor in our home testify that she was a woman of taste.
At family gatherings, I remember her salads. She was an excellent cook and I had the privilege to taste ‘Edikankong soup’ several times. I remember those Saturdays when she and her husband  went to the market to buy plenty of fish and meat. They said, ‘Your children need to eat plenty of meat! Mummy Lizzy modelled unity in marriage. I lived in that one year seeing her modesty, respect, honour and devotion to my brother, her husband. My family was introduced to the larger family of the Brethren Fellowship, where she was Mother to all.
Over my one year stay in my brother’s home, Mummy Lizzy was the perfect hostess. Family from Nigeria came and their home was their home. Cousins bonded and we adults all told our tales of life in Nigeria, UK, our careers etc. It was during such times that Mummy Lizzy knew about my manuscripts and encouraged me to get them typed. She was willing to help as she usually typed up my CVs and personal statements for jobs. She was the first person to read my ’Stories for Younger Generations’ and gave me confidence about my writing.
Mummy Lizzy had a generous heart - always looking to the need of others. She was my praying partner. She  always prayed for others. Not once did she mention to me her health challenge. She reminds me of my mother in this respect -  not wanting to create a burden in my heart. Even though her health situation was not perfect towards the end of her life, yet she praised God and said, ‘what God cannot do does not exist.’ She continued to sing and worship the Lord like nothing was happening to her.
Mummy Lizzy had grace from God to bear whatever season she went through. She would tell me how she went for chemo and radiotherapy like she just went to the post office. She never mentioned  to me in words or in name what it was that was ravaging her body system. Up till her last conscious breath, she vowed that she would write a book about how God had healed her and gave her the grace to hold her faith in him.
I could go on and on about my darling Mummy Lizzy; my praying partner, adviser, helper, my sister and friend combined and this booklet will not be able to take other people’s tributes. As this is just a tribute to her memory, I cannot fit in all the years up to her last moments on Earth with me. I cannot here fit in the full impact of my loss of her. By the grace of God, I am writing a poetry booklet about Mummy Lizzy as a wife, mother, sister and Matriarch of the Brethren Fellowship. It will be dedicated to her memory and her graceful life in Christ. It will be titled, ‘UNLESS A SEED FALLS.’
 
 
 The name ‘Elizabeth’ means ’pledged to God’ or ‘God is my oath’   Below is my acronym of the letters that spell [ELIZABETH]:
E – EMBODIMENT OF FAITH AND EVANGELIST OF GOD
L - LOYAL AND LOVING TO THE CORE FOR GOD
I – INSPIRING AND INTERCESSOR FOR GOD
Z – ZEALOUS WITH ZEST AND ZEAL FOR GOD
A – APPRECIATIVE AND ANNOINTED SAINT OF GOD
B –BEAUTIFUL AND BLESSED OF GOD
E – ENCOURAGER, ENERGISED AND EAGER FOR GOD
T – TRUTHFUL AND TRIUMPHANT TO THE END FOR GOD
H – HUMBLE SERVANT AND HELPER OF GOD
 
 
 
Mummy Lizzy knows perfect peace that passeth human understanding. She has joined the triumphant and celestial Saints above. She rests in the bosom of Him who called her. She is in her perfect form. She lives in glory.  She fought the good fight with all her might and wears the victor’s crown in Heaven. I see her every day and all the time smiling at me from her pictures in my family gallery.
 What a valiant soldier of Christ, you were!! Good bye Mummy Lizzy my darling sister.  Sarah. I will see you again. There will be no pain of parting but the promise of our future in eternity.
By Olusola Sophia Anyanwu.
June 2022, UK.