To understand success in marriage is to firstly understand the concept of love and sacrifice. Many people marry for convenience, pressure, lust, compatibility, selfish desires and duty. Before you get married, purpose it on your mind to not compare your spouse to be like your parents or anyone else. The feelings of like and love are similar but the difference is that LOVE forgives a multitude of sins – 1 Corinthians 13:5 and will stand stronger in the storms of life. Learn to accept that no one is perfect and that both of you can’t have it all, in terms of your wishes, wants and desires in a spouse. Desire the gift of marriage even when there is no one in your life. Learn to consciously remember what the scriptures say about God granting you the desires of your heart –Psalm 37:4. And always remember that there is an enemy [the devil] who can take various ways, forms etc to bring you down. The devil is looking for whom to destroy. 1 Peter 5:8
Work on your weaknesses. Samson was listening to strange women and they brought him down. David lusted after women in heart and flesh. It got him down. Miriam was envious of Moses and it got her down. Hannah’s co wife, Penninah, was boastful towards Hannah. None of her children was chosen by God. Those who murmured against a prophet of God got killed. Eve and Adam disobeyed God and lost paradise .Some people do not follow in the good steps of their parents patterned for them – Samuel‘s sons in the bible, unlike their father were wayward. Both David and Solomon also had wayward children. These are few biblical examples. Also, Queen Asheri didn’t honour her husband and lost her throne and place as wife to the king, in the story of Queen Esther in the Bible.
In our present times today, the major reason why many marriages fail, right from the beginning is the sin of pride. This can come in the form of lacking humility before a spouse. Does a spouse talk down to the other? Does a spouse deliberately ignore the needs of the other? Or does a spouse indirectly show disrespect through the way relatives and family members are treated? Does a spouse continually disregard the personal space of the other? Does a spouse look down on the other’s career, weaknesses or disability? All these and more are labelled offence in the bible –Luke 17:1 because they are ways that tempt a spouse to sin by causing marital conflict.
Also, remember that it takes two to quarrel. Purpose it consciously in your heart, body, soul and mind that you will always be a person of peace. Blessed are the peace makers for they shall be called children of God - Matthew 5:9. This means loving peace and hating conflict. It means you are ready to forgive , even when you are the victim or the offended party. It means you are willing to be humble enough to say ‘ sorry’, when you are the offending spouse or be ready to say ‘I’m sorry’ for the sake of peace, even when you are the innocent spouse. Understanding the concept of peace, unity, sacrifice and love is wisdom. Wisdom is Key. Proverbs 4:7.
Of course, the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom –Proverbs 9:10. So having the fear of God will enable a couple ensure that the foundation of their marriage is based on God’s Rock – Jesus. 1Corinthinss 3:11 and Deuteronomy32:4. Talking about Jesus here is the best example because He is the epitome of love and sacrifice. Can a spouse give up or sacrifice something like denying themselves their pleasure, comfort, time, convenience or their leisure, for examples, to grant the need of their spouse? This is where sacrifice comes in. It is tied to love. See I Corinthians 13. It is all about love and sacrifice. It is what LOVE is really about. Are you read to sacrifice? Then you can love!! You are ready for a successful marriage!!